Also I get very paranoid thinking I can feel the fat cells multiplying every second. I wish I could not feel guilty all the time. I wish I didn't still feel fat, but I do. I wish I could feel better about myself. Everyone always tells me that, but it so easy to say. It is hard to suddenly be confident and comfortable with myself after years of low self-esteem. I still feel like a fat boring loser. I have improved some, but I can't change overnight. It will take time. Sometimes I am scared I will always feel like this. It doesn't matter what weight I am, or what clothes I wear, or where I go or who with...I usually feel out of place. All the psycho babble in the world can't help me because this is something inside me that I need to fix. I just don't know how.
Before / After